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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158180">close your eyes (remember)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tri_angle/pseuds/tri_angle'>tri_angle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friends to Lovers, M/M, a brief cameo by seonghwa, vague uni au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:53:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23158180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tri_angle/pseuds/tri_angle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Feelings are a complicated thing and what do you know, alcohol only complicates it further.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi San/Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Kang Yeosang, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>close your eyes (remember)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay so! references to sex under the influence. there are no consent-related regrets and all parties involved were drunk at the time. not sure if it calls for a tw but it happened. so there's that.<br/><span class="small">title from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrvdjyIL0fA">remember me by oh my girl</a></span></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It feels like it’s always been like this: Wooyoung and Yeosang. Yeosang and Wooyoung. They’ve only known each other for a handful of years but when you’re a teenager that handful feels like an eternity. </p><p>And so it goes. Yeosang and Wooyoung, attached at the hip since middle school, to the point where their respective parents consider the other as part of the family. Wooyoung and Yeosang, moving out together to go to the same university and Wooyoung and Yeosang, starting their foray into adulthood together.</p><p>It wasn’t always the two of them but it might as well have been. And then Choi San happened.</p><p>*</p><p>"Hey San," Yeosang greets as he takes his shoes off at the doorway. </p><p>San is sprawled on the couch in their tiny living room, one leg dangling off. He looks as comfortable as if he lives there but then again, with the amount of time he spends in the apartment, he might as well do. </p><p>“Hi,” San says as he straightens up, chin propped up on the backrest of the couch and eyes following Yeosang to the kitchen. “This hoodie looks great on you.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Yeosang mumbles on instinct. Once in the kitchen, Yeosang halts, then looks down at himself. </p><p>He’s wearing his highlighter-yellow hoodie, Wooyoung’s gift for his birthday in grade ten. To, quote, bring a bit of color in your wardrobe. Yeosang, whose wardrobe had been mostly black at the time, had folded the hoodie in his bottom drawer and only let it see the sun again after they moved out for college. He’s been strangely fond of it ever since and it’s evident by how the highlighter yellow is getting a bit muted now, after so many washes.</p><p>Yeosang has long since gotten used to the random compliments from San, occasionally backed up by Wooyoung. It used to fluster him a lot, especially when it came from San, a near stranger at the time. Now, he takes it in stride - it seems to be almost weather talk for the two of them and while something in Yeosang still flutters each time they compliment his hair or his clothes, he knows not to look into it too much. </p><p>San pokes his head into the kitchen as Yeosang pours himself a glass of water. </p><p>"How do you feel about movie night? Wooyoung has been whining about one for two days now." </p><p>Yeosang frowns. Movie nights end up the same more often than not: Yeosang trying and failing to pay attention to the movie while Wooyoung and San try and fail to make out and be subtle about it. </p><p>"I don't understand why you keep inviting me to those," Yeosang sighs. "You never actually watch the movie whether I'm there or not."</p><p>“But it’s not fun without you!” San exclaims in this high, whiny voice that’s a perfect copy of Wooyoung. San used to be the slightly more level-headed one but Yeosang figures hanging out with Wooyoung does things to you.</p><p>It certainly did things to him, and picking up Wooyoung’s habits is only part of the problem.</p><p>“Fine,” he concedes eventually, and San beams.</p><p>San doesn’t go for a hug but his fingers twitch around his sides and this is still new - usually San is playful only when Wooyoung is around too, much calmer when it’s just the two of them. But Wooyoung doesn’t mind when San does it with him present, just stares fondly, so it shouldn’t be an issue, right?</p><p>Yeosang sighs, then lifts one of his hands, without even looking away from his water and a moment later, San fits himself under it. It only lasts a moment, before he’s moving away, grinning like a particularly spoiled child.</p><p>“Just tell me when you wanna,” Yeosang says eventually, finally shuffling over to his own room to ditch his scarce notes and pretend he doesn’t have class at eight tomorrow. “It’s not like I have plans anyway.”</p><p>San beams again and Yeosang rolls his eyes, sidestepping him on the way to his room. He can hear the muted <em> thump! </em> when San flops back on the couch and tries to prepare himself for a night of suffering.</p><p>*</p><p>Yeosang ends up between them this time, which only means that when San reaches to tangle his fingers in Wooyoung’s, their clasped hands lay in Yeosang’s lap.</p><p>“Can you watch the movie for once in your life,” Yeosang grits, to no one in particular. They’re both guilty.</p><p>Wooyoung shrugs. “This is a bonding experience. You two are way more interesting than the movie.”</p><p>“We could just… not watch the movie,” Yeosang points out.</p><p>Wooyoung only snuggles into his shoulder. “But you never let us cuddle otherwise.”</p><p>Something warm unfurls in Yeosang’s gut but he refuses to acknowledge it. “You have each other to cuddle, though.”</p><p>“Still more fun with you,” San counters, pointedly throwing a leg over Yeosang’s lap and subsequently Wooyoung’s hip. Yeosang feels a little caged in but finds he doesn’t exactly mind.</p><p>Despite everything, they still watch the movie until the end. San and Wooyoung don’t make out for once but they do attempt to cuddle and with Yeosang in the middle, it only results in a giant, human sandwich. </p><p>When the end credits roll, Yeosang finds he has absolutely no idea what the movie was even about.</p><p>*</p><p>“Let’s go out for coffee,” Wooyoung suggests one Saturday, when Yeosang is sprawled on the floor of their living room, one leg of his pacman pyjamas rolled up almost to the knee because he can’t be bothered to fix it. His shirt is riding up too, simply refusing to stay in place after all his shuffling. Wooyoung’s eyes follow the strip of skin that shows and that Yeosang fixes, hastily pulling at the loose hem.</p><p>“I’m not exactly ready for humans,” Yeosang says from the floor, tugging at his pyjamas. “I’m comfortable like this.”</p><p>“You can come like this,” Wooyoung replies without missing a beat. “You look cute. San loves those pyjamas too.”</p><p>Yeosang blinks, the image of him in his pacman pyjamas and ratty old tshirt, outside among other humans. In a café. He shudders. “I’m not going out in my pyjamas.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Sorry,” Yeosang interrupts before Wooyoung does something stupid and convinces him to go out anyway. “Some other time, okay? You can go have a date with San on your own.”</p><p>Wooyoung frowns but doesn’t press further, thankfully. Yeosang is notoriously bad at telling him no, it’s a miracle he even got this far.</p><p>Once the door closes after Wooyoung, though, guilt and (and maybe something like regret?) swirls in Yeosang’s stomach. San hasn’t been around much the past few days and Wooyoung has cut back on the outings as well, the semester picking up for all of them. Yeosang won’t admit it but he kind of misses San. He’s spending quality time with Wooyoung which is a definite plus. Among everything else, it helps Yeosang feel less like he’s slowly losing Wooyoung to San. Sometimes Yeosang can’t help but think that this is what’s really happening - Wooyoung finding a new favorite person while Yeosang is being gently let out of the relationship. On bad days, Yeosang thinks he’d probably do the same in Wooyoung’s place. San is funny and sweet and so, so beautiful and-</p><p>Yeosang squeezes his eyes shut, forces himself to kill the train of thought. Today is not a bad day but it might get there, so he sighs, picks himself up off the floor and calls Seonghwa.</p><p>*</p><p>It’s a little ironic that he ends up in a coffee shop anyway and Wooyoung would probably flip if he knew. Yeosang sighs again, swirling the straw of his iced tea as Seonghwa sits across him with his own drink in hand.</p><p>“What’s up,” he greets, right before he dumps an unholy amount of sugar in his… coffee? It smells like coffee. “Usually we have to drag you out by force, should I be worried?”</p><p>“Not really,” he argues. “I’m fine, Wooyoung and San went out and I didn’t feel like staying home.”</p><p>“Ah, second choice,” Seonghwa laughs. There's no accusation in his tone but Yeosang feels a little bad anyway. “They didn’t invite you with them?”</p><p>“They did and I said no,” Yeosang huffs, pointing at Seonghwa with his straw. “So you’re the first choice, really.” </p><p>This makes Seonghwa frown and Yeosang immediately regrets mentioning them at all. “As much as this is flattering,” Seonghwa says carefully, placing his cup back on the table. “All your friends are aware that Wooyoung and San, especially together, will always come first. So what’s wrong?”</p><p>This is <em> not </em>a bad day. But Seonghwa is looking at him like it is and Yeosang sighs, flicks his straw and watches it twirl into the cup until it slows to a halt again.</p><p>“I just,” he starts. How does he even end that sentence? “I guess I’m tired of third-wheeling.”</p><p>Seonghwa’s frown only deepens. “Third-wheeling? I thought you three were like… a thing? A package deal, sort of. Are Wooyoung and San dating?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” Yeosang exclaims, a little too loud. Because that’s the whole issue, isn’t it? He spends a whole lot of time stomping on the dumpster fire that are his feelings around the two of them and they just won’t let him extinguish it. “Sometimes they’ll kiss during our movie nights or hold each other’s hand when we go out and I don’t know! I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing when they kiss each other and then cuddle <em> me.” </em></p><p>Seonghwa stays quiet through the whole outburst and a little after, enough for Yeosang to begin realizing just what left his mouth.</p><p>“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” Seonghwa says, quiet and thoughtful.</p><p>There’s no point denying it at this point. “Yes. Yes, I do.”</p><p>The smallest smile plays on Seonghwa’s lips and Yeosang frantically thinks back to the conversation. The realization comes about the same time as Seonghwa’s words do. “I never said which one.”</p><p>Yeosang stares at his iced tea, unblinking. “I’m fucked, aren’t I?”</p><p>“It depends,” Seonghwa hums. “On you.”</p><p>“That’s really cryptic,” Yeosang points out, already tired of the conversation. He wants it to end, like, yesterday. “Also unhelpful. Let’s talk about something else. How’s Hongjoong?”</p><p>Seonghwa looks torn about half a second but Yeosang knows he’s hit a spot. Seonghwa never passes up an opportunity to talk about Hongjoong. This means that Yeosang willingly subjected himself to possibly hours long gushing about Hongjoong’s general existence but hey, as long as Seonghwa isn’t focused on <em> him. </em> He needs the distraction anyway.</p><p>*</p><p>Yeosang decides to take his little outburst with Seonghwa as a sign that it’s time to stop. He tries to turn down as much of both Wooyoung and San’s offers as possible, be it coffee dates, shopping dates, movie dates. Because that’s what they are, <em> dates. </em> And then there’s Yeosang.</p><p>So he makes up excuses as often as he can and when he can’t, he does his best to stay away from the cuddling and the kisses. It doesn’t go unnoticed, judging by the worried glances San gives him every so often and the way Wooyoung frowns at him in the mornings but ultimately, no one says anything. And Yeosang keeps doing it.</p><p>*</p><p>“There’s a party happening tomorrow night,” Wooyoung says one morning, leaning against the kitchen door with a cup of coffee in his hand. He’s essentially blocking the exit so Yeosang can’t just escape like he normally would and it’s most definitely on purpose.</p><p>“Is there?” He says instead, eyes on the rice he’s carefully forming into neat little balls.</p><p>Wooyoung nods. “Me and San are going, we were hoping you could tag along? It feels like we haven’t hung out in ages.” </p><p>To a stranger, he’d look perfectly nonchalant about it but Yeosang has known him enough to recognize the tension in his shoulders. He hates himself for causing it.</p><p>It’s probably the reason why instead of flat out refusing, he says, “I’ll think about it?”</p><p>It’s far from a yes, an unlikely maybe at best but the smile that spills on Wooyoung’s lips makes it feel like Yeosang agreed wholeheartedly, plucked all the stars out of the sky to gift Wooyoung along with accepting the invitation.</p><p>It only serves to make Yeosang feel even worse.</p><p>*</p><p>He’s decided that he won’t go, absolutely sure of it, until about noon the following day. Wooyoung goes out early to get ready at San’s and while his face falls when Yeosang declines this invitation, it’s only a little forced when he closes the door with a cheerful <em> See you tonight, hopefully! </em></p><p>Yeosang spends the next two hours convincing himself that going is a terrible idea and the third one contemplating how bad of a friend he is. After that his time is mostly spent freaking out about what he’s going to wear, all the people that will be there and why the hell is his wardrobe so boring, in that order.</p><p>In the end, he settles for one of the three identical pairs of black skinnies he owns, a white tee usually reserved for when he doesn’t feel like anything and a red flannel on top so it gives the illusion he actually put an effort.</p><p>Truthfully, Yeosang very much did. Not his fault his wardrobe is not exactly party-friendly.</p><p>He tries to style his hair at least, pushing it to the side just to watch it flop back. It’s getting a little too long, his ears almost fully covered now, and he’s had to resort to vetting video calls from his mom because she keeps berating him over it. In the end, he sticks two of the bobby pins he’s had lying around ever since his hair started growing out and calls it a day. If you look from the right angle, it almost looks like a sidecut. Almost.</p><p>By the time he feels semi-ready to leave the apartment it’s well past the announced time of the party. At least this way he’ll miss the awkwardness of being one of the first to show up, maybe even say hi to San and Wooyoung and hide in the crowd until it’s socially acceptable to leave.</p><p>Yeosang finds the error in his ways almost as soon as he enters the goddamn house. While his own wardrobe is definitely not party-friendly, Wooyoung’s definitely is and it appears San’s is even better. Yeosang meets San’s eyes from afar, the look of surprise on his face almost overshadowed by sparkle and oh god, is that a choker? A glance to San’s left and Yeosang decides Wooyoung isn’t better, may in fact be worse?</p><p>He makes a split second decision and beelines for the kitchen where there’s hopefully alcohol. Fuck hiding in the crowd afterwards, he’ll need all the alcohol ever to even survive whatever the effect of <em> getting ready at San’s </em> is up close.</p><p>*</p><p>Yeosang wakes up with a splitting headache, sprawled on a bed that is not his, with a hand thrown over his stomach that is also not his. It takes a moment for the world to stop spinning. Even if the pain doesn’t let up, his thoughts clear enough so he can focus on his surroundings: the bed he doesn’t recognize. The hand he does.</p><p>It’s attached to Wooyoung, who’s sprawled next to him - it explains why Yeosang’s first reaction wasn’t to throw the person off and run away, maybe. Wooyoung is on his stomach and with his face smooshed in the edge of Yeosang’s pillow. If Yeosang turns just so, he’ll probably get a face full of hair. He does turn just so and, as expected, through a maze of lavender hair he sees that Wooyoung’s other hand is on San, who himself is curled up at the other edge of the bed. </p><p>It’s not a big bed. If Yeosang reaches out he could probably trace San’s jaw with the tips of his fingers. He looks so pretty like this, asleep with his arms wrapped around Wooyoung’s own arm as if it’s some sort of a teddy bear.</p><p>And then, of course, because Yeosang can’t have nice things, the memories start flooding back.</p><p>They’re fragmented at best but even the fragments are vivid, like he could still feel the edge of a sink digging into his back. A breath on his lips, teeth on his neck. He reaches to his neck, careful so he wouldn’t disturb Wooyoung. He presses his fingers into where he remembers the bite to be and sure enough, the skin is tender there. Yeosang has to bite back a wince. </p><p>But worse than the shame slowly filling him up is this: San’s eyes. His eyes, boring into Yeosang’s, his mouth whispering words Yeosang doesn’t remember. His arms holding Yeosang’s hips against the stupid sink, Yeosang’s legs wrapped around his waist.</p><p>Wooyoung’s arm is warm against his stomach but it only seems to speed up the bile rising in Yeosang’s stomach.</p><p>Of all the people he could’ve hooked up with on the stupid party, it had to be San. San, his best friend’s probably-boyfriend and Yeosang’s occasional guilty-crush. The tangled bundle of feelings he harbors for Wooyoung himself only makes things worse.</p><p>Yeosang closes his eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the thoughts but it proves a grave mistake. San’s eyes are burned behind his eyelids and some of his words are coming back, too. </p><p>
  <em> You’re so pretty like this. </em>
</p><p>In the hazy memory, San has his forehead on Yeosang’s, he can feel the exhales after each word. The memories must be mixing because he can feel the mouth on his neck too and-</p><p>Yeosang opens his eyes with a start. The worst part of everything? No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring himself to regret it. At least the self-hatred he has no trouble with.</p><p>*</p><p>He’s not sure how long he spends laying there, eyes on the ceiling, with Wooyoung’s hand thrown over his waist. It feels like what he imagines lead would feel like, a painful reminder that he’s truly the shittiest friend in this whole wide world.</p><p>Despite the pounding headache, he knows he’ll have to move eventually. Preferably before any of the other two occupants of the bed waking up. Preferably with enough time to slip away, go home and pretend none of this happened. </p><p>It’s not San sprawled over him and Yeosang will count his blessings. He’s had training with Wooyoung, at least, countless nights of falling asleep cuddling where one of them has things to do in the morning. Yeosang carefully slips from under Wooyoung’s arm, replacing it with the pillow he was just lying on. Wooyoung stirs but doesn’t wake up and Yeosang breathes a sigh of relief. He’s… suspiciously dressed, only his flannel thrown on the floor next to the door and Yeosang picks it up before tiptoeing out of the room. </p><p>It figures. His memories, fragmented as they are, definitely don’t take place in a bed.</p><p>Once he’s safely home, the front door and the door to his room closed and locked, Yeosang allows himself to flop on his bed and contemplate his life choices. He feels filthy, inside and out, and if there was ever a doubt that the stupid party is a bad idea it’s long, long gone now.</p><p>After a few more minutes of lying facedown, Yeosang sighs, then slowly picks himself up. At least the outside filth he can do something about.</p><p>*</p><p>If he was trying to limit his interactions with Wooyoung and San before, with the party fiasco Yeosang avoids both of them like the plague. San especially - he honestly doesn’t believe San would do something like this sober which means he probably doesn’t remember, which in turn means Yeosang has no plans to jog his memory. He vehemently refuses each invitation Wooyoung extends to him, locks himself up whenever San is visiting instead, buries himself in subjects he’s never really cared before. His grades weren’t that bad to begin with but now they were lacking here and there. Funnily enough, his mom will be the only one benefitting from this whole ordeal.</p><p>Wooyoung is a little harder to ignore and while not for lack of trying, Yeosang has to allow a few conversations here and there. Mainly because, selfishly, he misses Wooyoung so much. At the end of the day, they <em> are </em>friends. Wooyoung and Yeosang. Yeosang hoped he’d never get to find out just how dependent he is on this friendship but here they are now.</p><p> Even if Wooyoung would most likely ditch him if he knew. Yeosang would surely ditch himself in his place.</p><p>*</p><p>It couldn’t go on forever. Yeosang knew this, even if a part of him hoped that his little ignorance game could go on for just a little longer.</p><p>But alas.</p><p>“We need to talk,” Wooyoung announces one day, trapping Yeosang between the rice cooker and himself. “Don’t even think about it,” he adds when he catches Yeosang’s eyes shifting between the door to his bedroom and the front door.</p><p>He’s been trying his best to avoid venturing out of his room when Wooyoung was home and while he did hear him come home earlier he heard San’s voice too. When they holed themselves up in Wooyoung’s room Yeosang foolishly decided he’s in the clear. And he was hungry.</p><p>But Wooyoung is here now, no San in sight, and Yeosang has nowhere to go. So it’s happening, then. </p><p>Yeosang deflates with a sigh, resigns to his fate. “Okay.”</p><p>The talk itself is on the couch, at least. Yeosang isn’t sure if it’s an improvement. </p><p>“For the record,” Wooyoung starts carefully, like<em> he’s </em> the one in the wrong here, “We thought it would be best if San is present for this conversation as well but we didn’t wanna overwhelm you. He’s currently in my room being all emo, in case you do want both of us for this. But you’ve been avoiding him more than me so...”</p><p>Yeosang blinks at the tone of his voice, before the words catch up with him. “San knows about this? You’ve talked?”</p><p>“Obviously,” Wooyoung huffs. “You’ve been avoiding us more than usual after the party and I understand if that’s not something you would’ve done sober, I’m so, so sorry. You are so important to me,<em> to both of us. </em> We’ll be more careful next time, I promise-”</p><p><em> “You </em> are apologizing to <em> me?” </em> Yeosang repeats incredulously. “I got drunk and slept with your boyfriend and <em> you </em>are the one apologizing?”</p><p>Wooyoung only stares at him for a few long moments, eyes wide.</p><p>“Yeosang,” he says eventually, words slow and even, “What do you remember from that night?”</p><p>Yeosang squeezes his eyes shut, shame washing over him in waves. “Do I have to say it?”</p><p>Wooyoung’s hand migrates to his knee and Yeosang dares to look at him again. </p><p>A mistake. Wooyoung’s eyes are wide and earnest, no hint of teasing or judgement in them. “Please?”</p><p>“I had sex with San,” Yeosang blurts out before he can talk himself out of it. Ripping off a bandaid and all that.</p><p>Wooyoung keeps looking at him expectantly, which only serves to make Yeosang squirm. When it becomes evident he’s not adding to that sentence, Wooyoung’s features twist into surprise, then realization. “Only San?”</p><p>“You mean I did things with other people as well?” Yeosang squeaks. He can’t help the horror creeping up his spine - he’s absolutely never drinking again in his<em> life. </em></p><p>“Yeah,” Wooyoung nods slowly. “Me.”</p><p>*</p><p>Yeosang has been sprawled on the floor, staring at the ceiling of their living room for at least five minutes now. </p><p>Wooyoung leans down over him, blocking the light from their overhead lamp. “You okay in there?”</p><p>“Give me a second?” Yeosang replies, still staring at the ceiling. It’s almost word for word what he said when he initially slid down the couch and onto the ground but the second seems to stretch a bit too long.</p><p>So he slept with San. And also Wooyoung. Possibly at the same time, except he only remembers San.</p><p>Yeosang sits up abruptly, startling Wooyoung. “Wait. So you’re not mad at me for sleeping with San?”</p><p>Wooyoung rubs at his face, then takes a deep breath. “Yeosang, I was there. I encouraged it. Did you… all this time, did you think San cheated on me with you? Is that why you avoided us?”</p><p>Yeosang nods slowly. Wooyoung’s lips form a thin line. </p><p>“Okay,” he says in the end. “I need to make something clear before we go ahead with this conversation but you have to be completely honest with me, promise?” Yeosang nods again, hesitant this time. There are very few things he wouldn’t be honest about with Wooyoung.</p><p>“Do you regret it? What you remember?”</p><p>Well, except maybe this is one of the few things.</p><p>He only manages to get to the “I-” before Wooyoung interrupts him.</p><p>“You have to be honest, remember? I promise nothing will change, not for the worst at least. Please?” Wooyoung’s voice is serious like Yeosang has rarely heard it and it’s his turn to sigh, something like resignation settling in his gut.</p><p>“I don’t. I tried to, really hard, but I don’t.”</p><p>Wooyoung hums in acknowledgement. “And what you don’t remember? Me? Does that make you regret it?”</p><p>It takes him a while to finish the question and it takes Yeosang longer to convince himself to answer it. “No. No, it doesn’t.” A beat of silence follows then Yeosang laughs, a bitter thing. “I imagine if it ruins our friendship I’ll regret it quite a lot, though.”</p><p>“It won’t,” Wooyoung insists, voice a lot lighter than it was ten seconds ago. “I think it would be better if this conversation continues with San present, though. Would you mind that?”</p><p>The thought makes shame and anxiety bubble up in Yeosang with alarming speed but he nods anyway. If there’s one truth he believes with no reservation it’s this: he’d trust Wooyoung with his life and this is no exception.</p><p>Wooyoung disappears into his room only to reappear with a sulky San in tow a few minutes later. Yeosang avoids eye contact as best as he can.</p><p>“Don’t make me repeat everything,” he pleads when both Wooyoung and San settle on the couch.</p><p>“I already explained the gist of it,” Wooyoung laughs. “Don’t worry.”</p><p>San huffs, crossing his arms. “I can’t decide if I’m flattered that I’m the only one you remember or offended because it was all Wooyoung’s fault.”</p><p>“Excuse me,” Wooyoung sputters, voice a little too high. “I don’t recall you objecting at any given moment.”</p><p>“I was drunk,” San points out, to which Wooyoung rolls his eyes.</p><p>“So was I.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yeosang interrupts, two pairs of eyes suddenly on him. He tries not to squirm under the attention. “For… all this mess.”</p><p>“We’re the ones that should be apologizing,” San says softly, reaching to - cup Yeosang’s cheek? Pet his hair? Yeosang never gets to find out because San’s hand freezes halfway, then drops to his side. “This was not the right way to approach things at all.”</p><p>“Then what is?” Yeosang asks, quiet. He has an inkling where all this is going but everything feels so surreal now. He’ll need the verbal confirmation to be sure it’s not all in his head, that it’s not just wishful thinking.</p><p>“When Wooyoung first introduced us,” San smiles, glancing at Wooyoung, “it was pretty obvious to me that there’s something going on. You have a certain way of looking at each other when you think no one is looking. Especially you,” the last part is aimed at Yeosang and he hides his face in his hands.</p><p>He remembers it quite clearly: Wooyoung had brought San for dinner and laughed when Yeosang kept glancing at him throughout the meal. He was then coaxed into an impromptu movie night, which meant San and Yeosang on the opposite sides of their couch, with Wooyoung sprawled between them, head propped in San’s lap and his legs on Yeosang’s. Yeosang spent the majority of the night torn between staring at San and staring at Wooyoung curled up between them. He barely remembers what the movie was even about.</p><p>Wooyoung shuffles in his seat, grimacing. “San confronted me about it afterwards. I knew you’re into him because I know you so I wanted to back off but San can be… pretty convincing.”</p><p>“I guess it’s easier to notice feelings when they don’t concern you directly,” San shrugs. </p><p>It makes sense. While Yeosang was perfectly aware there’s something very mutual between San and Wooyoung almost as soon as it happened, it never occurred to him that he might have something with each of them, too. </p><p>“So what,” he says aloud, glancing between the two of them. “You decided to try and date me together?”</p><p>San shrugs again, grinning. His dimples are on full display and Yeosang finds it hard to look away. “We figured that if we take you out on enough dates you’d catch on eventually.” The smile dims somewhat. “When you started pulling away...”</p><p>He trails off but Wooyoung is right there to pick up the sentence. Yeosang is in awe. “Obviously the right way of action would’ve been to talk but I demanded we take you out one last time instead. I guess San is the one with the better ideas after all.”</p><p>“I didn’t exactly protest,” San points out. “Wooyoung decided you won’t show up so we got drunk and decided to fuck in the bathroom. It sounded like a great idea at the time and then you had to show up all,” he gestures vaguely at Yeosang. “All hot and stuff.”</p><p>Yeosang looks down at himself. He’s in his pyjamas right now, the pacman ones, complete with a band tshirt so old you can no longer read the name of the band. His hair is most definitely a mess too - he can see why dolling himself up for once would cause a reaction.</p><p>Wooyoung’s toes dig into his thigh. “I can hear you thinking bullshit thoughts. Need I remind you that we tried to take you out for coffee in these exact pants?”</p><p>“They’re cute,” San nods solemnly. </p><p>Yeosang looks between the two of them, each wearing a perfectly serious expression, then hides his face in his hands. “I’m...” the rest of the sentence gets lost somewhere between looking up to see San smiling and Wooyoung patiently waiting for him, chin propped on his palms. “So you’re both okay with this?”</p><p>“Very okay,” Wooyoung confirms and San nods as well. “Although I kinda wish the tipping stone wasn’t a blackout drunk night. Or at least that you remembered something other than San.”</p><p>The soft mood is broken instantly, San looking awfully pleased with himself. “What can I say? I’m unforgettable.”</p><p>“Excuse you-”</p><p>“So,” Yeosang interrupts, loud. As fun as it is watching them bicker, he has more important things on his mind. “What actually happened that night?”</p><p>“Oh,” Wooyoung mutters, then frowns. “I don’t actually remember a lot either. But I’m pretty sure you gave me a blowjob.”</p><p>Yeosang splutters, eyes wide. He should probably get used to this, the casualness with which they talk about it. He’s torn between judging drunk Yeosang for his life choices and, well. Being proud of it all? He kind of wishes he remembered more, though.</p><p>“We have all the time in the world to make memories you’ll remember,” San says, voice quiet and a little unsure. There’s an invisible question mark at the end and Yeosang swallows. For once, he decides not to overthink it.</p><p>“Yeah, we will,” he ends up saying, a little louder than he’d intended to. </p><p>It’s Wooyoung who reaches out to drag him back to the couch, fingers tangled in the collar of his shirt.</p><p>He grins up at Yeosang, eyes flicking between his eyes and his lips. Yeosang barely registers the <em> Better get a headstart! </em>before Wooyoung is kissing him to the soundtrack of San’s offended squeak.</p><p>*</p><p>“So,” Seonghwa starts, a smug little smile on his lips. “A little birdie told me you got yourself a couple of boyfriends.”</p><p>“I’m gonna have words with this little birdie of yours,” Yeosang mutters, even if he’s doing a terrible job of hiding a smile.</p><p>Seonghwa laughs, bright and delighted. “Please, you’ll crumple like a sack of mouldy potatoes at the first hint of puppy eyes.”</p><p>“I think you’re mistaking me for yourself,” Yeosang points out, way less annoyed than he probably should be. Seonghwa is right.</p><p>“Please,” he huffs. “I, at least, am self-aware enough to know that I will, in fact, crumple like a sack of mouldy potatoes if Hongjoong so much as looks at me. I’m not afraid to admit it and I’m not afraid to tell anyone just why I am so weak for him.”</p><p>“Abort mission, abort mission,” Yeosang hurries to say, frantically miming an X. “We all know exactly why and you keep reminding us every time we go out.”</p><p>“Mm,” Seonghwa grins pointing at Yeosang with the wooden stirrer of his coffee. “And now you know how that feels. You have two boyfriends, too. It’s only a matter of time before you’re worse than me. San already is.”</p><p>Yeosang buries his face in his hands. The worst part is, Seonghwa is most definitely right.</p>
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